SUBJECT: Recall Notice

the following message, sent to me by a co-worker, was waiting for me in my work e-mail Inbox on Monday:

RECALL NOTICE FROM GOD:

The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart.

This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units, code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units.

This defect has been identified as "Subsequential Internal Non-morality," more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.

Some of the symptoms include:
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion
7. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion

The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this defect.

The Repair Technician, JESUS, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.

The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R. Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure.

Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component. No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:
1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self control

Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (BEST Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of these fixes.

WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list, and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on Jesus.

DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility. Thank you for your attention!

-GOD

P.S. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice, and you may contact the Father any time by 'Knee mail'!
Because HE Lives!
Have a wonderful day!

it being the Holiday Season and all, i expect to deal with a resonable amount of christian "fellowship" in the workplace, but this message reminded me of EVERYTHING that makes me uncomfortable with christians and their (incessant need to burden others with their) faith.

i am NOT defective. i do NOT need to be repaired.
i will NOT be scrapped as a possible contaminant because i refuse to beg an imaginary being to absolve me of any guilt or repsonsibility for mistakes i may have made.

i believe i already have all the answers, i need only learn to look inside myself.
i believe i possess infinite reserves of two things; love and patience. if Jesus ever intended to leave any type of lasting message with us, it was surely to live life with infinite love and patience - regardless of what any bible my have written in it.

i DARE anyone (especially a woman!) who truly believes that the bible is an instruction manual to try to live by it's oppressive laws of intolerance.
i, on the other hand, will continue to think for myself, take responsibility for my actions, and find peace and happiness in the people and world around me.

Happy Holiday Season, whatever and however you celebrate!