Rockin Around the XMas Tree!

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alien discharge?

i FINALLY watched The Peacekeeper Wars, the somewhat ad-hoc attempt to wrap up the super cliff-hanger ending of Season 4 of Farscape.

i LOVED Farscape, so it was nice to have some closure; but no matter what i do there is one very disturbing image from The Peacekeeper Wars that i just can't get out of my head.
Aeryn gives birth in a fountain while the entire crew tries to hold off a Scaaren invasion:
http://youtu.be/LlmUpVPo9s8

what is that green cloud that BLOWS out of her at approximately 17 seconds?  and just in case you miss the little green poof, she BLOWS out a HUGE white cloud 2 seconds later.
OK- perhaps they were going for an element of realism. 
But why?  The entire two-hour episode is chock full of fantastically unreal plot devices:

• Aeryn's baby was brough to term in Rygel's (an amphibious toad puppet) stomach
• John learns to create wormholes with his mind
• we meet a new race, the Eidolons, whose faces open like a chinese take-out containers

so why the "discharge"? 
i mean, Aeryn is wearing a spandex body suit through the entire birthing process that clearly has no zipper- so where does the baby even come out?
not to mention the fact that Chiana prevents the baby being born breech by yanking on Aeryn's portruding (spandex covered) belly...
Farscape plots were always a bit ridiculous, but that was the fun of this great sci-fi series.

I hope eventually, i will be able to think of Claudia Black again without simultaneously envisioning that vaginal cloud!

The BEST turkeys are VIRTUAL turkeys!

my partner in everything, Dylan, is my hero- and he doesn't even know it.

i've spent the last 2 Thanksgiving Holidays trying to "wrangle" 200 turkeys to earn my own turkey pet in Bushwhacker (a Facebook app).  to my huge dissapointment, i've come up JUST short two years in a row.

Dylan somehow secretly managed to get all 200 turkeys, win the turkey pet, AND convince the game developers to give ME his turkey.
the surprise virtual turkey was in my inventory when i played Bushwhacker this past Monday, and i'm still ecstatic beyond words.

you may think this is all silly.  that it's just a free game and i'm completely over-reacting; but i diagree.
as Society works to turn the Winter Holidays into perfectly commercialized money generators, i grow less and less enchanted with the "magic" of the season.
the stress (emotional and financial) of the Holidays can easily overwhelm me.

Dylan has reminded me of the true spirit of the season- his gift cost him time and effort: the e-mail to the game developers was 3 pages long, not to mention the hours spent catching cartoon turkeys hiding in bushes.  there's nothing he could ever give me that could make me feel more loved than that.

that's me & the BEST turkey EVER!

but i'm not the only one who received a "gift"- Dylan inspired the game developers to participate in his gesture of generosity.  to me, THAT is the true meaning of the Holidays: acts of goodwill that inspire others to acts of goodwill.

i know not everyone wants a virtual turkey pet as much as i did, but as we approach the coldest, darkest time of the calendar year, i hope everyone's mid-Winter Holidays can be filled with illuminating and noble gestures of generosity.

SUBJECT: Recall Notice

the following message, sent to me by a co-worker, was waiting for me in my work e-mail Inbox on Monday:

RECALL NOTICE FROM GOD:

The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart.

This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units, code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units.

This defect has been identified as "Subsequential Internal Non-morality," more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.

Some of the symptoms include:
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion
7. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion

The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this defect.

The Repair Technician, JESUS, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.

The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R. Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure.

Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component. No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:
1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self control

Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (BEST Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of these fixes.

WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list, and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on Jesus.

DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility. Thank you for your attention!

-GOD

P.S. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice, and you may contact the Father any time by 'Knee mail'!
Because HE Lives!
Have a wonderful day!

it being the Holiday Season and all, i expect to deal with a resonable amount of christian "fellowship" in the workplace, but this message reminded me of EVERYTHING that makes me uncomfortable with christians and their (incessant need to burden others with their) faith.

i am NOT defective. i do NOT need to be repaired.
i will NOT be scrapped as a possible contaminant because i refuse to beg an imaginary being to absolve me of any guilt or repsonsibility for mistakes i may have made.

i believe i already have all the answers, i need only learn to look inside myself.
i believe i possess infinite reserves of two things; love and patience. if Jesus ever intended to leave any type of lasting message with us, it was surely to live life with infinite love and patience - regardless of what any bible my have written in it.

i DARE anyone (especially a woman!) who truly believes that the bible is an instruction manual to try to live by it's oppressive laws of intolerance.
i, on the other hand, will continue to think for myself, take responsibility for my actions, and find peace and happiness in the people and world around me.

Happy Holiday Season, whatever and however you celebrate!

"What good is an incorporeal bridge?"

Some of the best moments in my life happen while I'm sitting on the couch playing video games.
I owe more than a few of these memories to Claudia Black and her exceptional vocie acting career.

It has become pure joy to approach an NPC to initiate dialogue, and have Claudia's perfect Australian accent come purring out. (squeee!)

So here's to Claudia...
as Morrigan in Dragon Age

as Chloe in Uncharted

as Admiral Xen in Mass Effect

as Mel in Rage

and many, many more fantastic characters!
XXOO!

where does all the $ go?

H'Ween 2011?

i'm NEVER going to Woodsboro

Dylan and i have a habit of non-traditionalism when it comes to celebrations of any sort.

We replaced our New Year's champagne toast with a tremendous midnight ice cream sundae (WAY more decadent), had nachos for easter dinner (thanks Laura!), and yes- our XMas tree is still up (we like using it as low-level lighting to prevent glare on the TV's while playing videogames).


So for the 1 year anniverasry of our first date, Dylan took me to see my first horror film on the big screen: Scream 4 in Digital Projection with Surround Sound.

I didn't actually scream, but i did watch about half of the movie through my shirt- which i kept pulling completely over my head.

The movie ended at about 8:30 PM, and there was NO WAY i was walking through the parking lot to get to my car while any crazy with a knife could be lurking anywhere, so i "popped in" to the very brightly lit video game store and "browsed" until closing at 10.

Too frazzled to make a decision, i just bought everything the clerk lady recommended so she could go home for the night.

Back at our apartment, spare outlets received additional nightlights (there are always 2 but last night there were 4), and the XMAs tree stayed on...

Bread & Oranges

I woke up this morning wrapped in a tornado of thoughts
which followed me to my bath

My mind frothed, tossed and foamed with thoughts of my father, easter, my mother, momotherapy, corfleas, flea margis, fredit exards, your moffee, cocoeggs…
… and a single stray thought
that this temporary maelstrom is your normal

As I pulled the drain
the tempest quieted
and my only remaining thought was of you

Cassandra Complex

is it a curse?
in the moment of their creation, I see how things will break

a slide show in fast forward of all the key moments of every human interaction
just how and when these threads once woven, must eventually unravel

the only fact halting my descent into madness, is that
occasionally
I am wrong.

Fish Crackers

The REST of the Year in Games

With my first playthrough of Dragon Age II already complete, what’s next?
If you want to know what I’ll be playing for the rest of 2011, here is a draft of the agenda:

inside Alice

inside Alice there is a caterpillar a queen and a rabbit
perhaps, deep down, she knew
that her sponsor was an addled pervert

inside Me there is smoke and magic
but no admissible evidence
and innocence is as elusive as a cat

oh please, brush the leaves from my hair
before the trial ends

The Land of Khem

I met you a on the beach a thousand years ago, near the ruins of an ancient temple half returned to the sea.
As I descended the crumbling stone steps, seeking answers only the ocean could give, I looked out to the horizon and saw your magical silhouette.
The setting sun gave you a crystalline aura that took my breath away.

As I approached further, you turned your head in my direction and your eyes glowed with the dark secrets of the abyss.
A blink and you were gone, the last light reflecting off your shimmering fluke.

I waited by the shore for days. I made you a necklace of sea glass and lavender pearls.
When you returned, I spoke first, asking you to live with me. In exchange I offered you the necklace and my heart.
You nodded silently and returned with me to my cottage in the forest among the wild things.